YAY, FOOD!

So, I think because the summer is almost upon me, I’m going to need a place to put all my excess energy and thinky thoughts. I also decided to give Facebook a break, because I’m constantly updating my status about: 1) How Hungover I am 2) and how I consequently want to eat the hell out of a burrito because of said “hangover.” The last time I was in school and didn’t sign up for summer classes, I ended up driving my scooter from Baton Rouge to Thibodaux. I took pictures along the way. I made a scrapbook. I got really sunburnt because it took all day long. I need stimulation in my life. Hopefully this blog will do the trick.

Let’s start with a little history:

• Favorite Food as a Kid: Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches (but only the ones that my childhood babysitter made.)
• Worst Food Memory: It’s a toss up between that one time my step dad tried to deep fry scrambled eggs (think each air pocket fills with grease, each bite of eggs was also with a sip of grease), that one time I bit into a paintball thinking it was gum, and when I was really little I think I ate some makeup my mom had in the fridge, but in my defense it looked like peanut butter it may have also been lard. I honestly don't know what it was, but it was the grossest thing ever. (Although, one time I drank my paintbrush water because it looked like chocolate milk. I was going to give it to my brother to "drink" and my dad was like "NO!" so I took a sip of it, told him, and then he promptly freaked the hell out on me. Drinking the paint brush water wasn't that bad, my dad freaking out and calling poison control was the traumatic part.)
• Dumbest thing you’ve ever done with something edible: It’s a toss up between that one time I accidentally pepper sprayed myself in the eye and the one time I stuck nerds up my nose. Considering I saved the biggest ones for last, it got caught up there for a while, but pepper spraying myself might take the cake.  Pepper belongs on food and in the eyes of rapists, not in past me’s eyes... but in my defense I thought it was lotion.

(*re-reading all my misfires with things that I've previously consumed, I'm surprised my parents didn't classify me as 'special needs.')

(This is the contents of my Refrigerator right now. It's: old bagels, coke zero, three half bottles of tonic, year old Reeses cups and a Dasani water bottle filled with tap water.)

One time I dreamed up a dish that I named “Chicken Dante.” This was my senior year of high school, so my friend Kalie helped me whip it up. It was like a deep-fried flour tortilla made into a small cup and then you put like chicken and a slice of avocado on top of it or something. I honestly don’t remember the details. Maybe she does.

For a while I got into making Quiche, again—this was high school—and one year, after Thanksgiving, I decided to make one with our leftover Tur-duck-in. (For those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s a Chicken inside a duck that’s inside a Turkey) Here is a tip: Never mix together eggs and the animals the make eggs together in one dish. It was pretty gross, but I ate like half of it anyway.  (Between the deep fried eggs and this, I’m starting to think I had more the appetite of a teenage boy than a teenage girl.)

(This is what currently is in my "pantry." It's five year old Carnation Instant Breakfast, a number of boxes of dried noodles and mac & Cheese and Jif Peanut Butter)

While the trip down memory lane was fun, I’m going to lay out my plans for this blog. The plan is to talk about all the food I eat. Don’t think this is going to be a high-end food blog, it’s going to be like “I ate Panda Express today” (then there will be a cell phone picture of what I had at Panda Express) I might talk about food I cook on occasion. There is a chance I will also talk about alcohol, since sometimes I consume it instead of food, and then I’m not hungry anymore. I might randomly post recipes, if I start taking myself seriously, and convince myself that people are not only 1) reading this but they also 2) would want random recipes. The only pictures on this blog will be pictures taken by my Samsung cell phone. This phone still does not have internet and I can't check Facebook on it without my mom paying 1.29 a minute to go "online." Essentially, in the words of my brother, it's a "dumb phone." The reason for taking any and all pictures with this phone, is because it's always with me and I don't want the quality of the pictures to go up or down (because if there is one thing the three people that read this blog require, it's my attention to detail and my unyielding consistency.)

(this is the picture of the cell phone I plan on using to take pictures. People that know me, are maybe familiar with it. People that are strangers, meet: My Phone.)

Another warning, is that I tend to end sentences with prepositions and I also "over comma." (That is, I just randomly put commas in places that commas have no business being, like maybe the two used in this sentence here.) I just recently learned exactly where I'm supposed to do "were" and "where" (thanks to my brother) so I won't be making that mistake anymore. 

Other than all that, enjoy!