Chicken Nuggets: An Edible Vehicle for a Better Sauce

My brother and I were trying to figure out what to eat while driving through Arizona. We knew we wanted fast food of some sort. I suggested Dairy Queen. He was like “Gross, what do you get there?” and I was like “Chicken tenders” and he was like “you mean those crappy freeze dried ones? If you want chicken nuggets or strips, why don’t we go to Burger King?” and I was like “THOSE are gross.” Then we proceeded to just, not agree on the other persons definition of what constituted a “gross fried chicken nugget/strip.”

If I’m going to eat gross food, I want it to be freeze dried chicken strips from DQ, Kevin prefers nugget shaped chicken patties BECAUSE they include the dark meat. Now, I get that everyone has his or her opinions and personal preference: but it still grosses me out. I’m guessing, because in addition to dark meat mixed in with the white meat there is also that “other.” We ended up picking Wendy’s because that was a compromise of some sort. Where did we end up actually eating? Quiznos. I cut off an 18-wheeler to make the exit as soon as we saw the sign.

(Gross, but not as gross as Dyno-Bites)

But, it made me think about my relationship with chicken nuggets and strips. Now, there are the chicken strips my dad makes, which are the bomb. But, we can’t always have our parental units food, and considering I now live several thousand miles from my parents, I can’t rely on my dad’s homemade chicken tenders.

Using chicken nuggets and strips as a vehicle for some kind of sauce has always been my thing. I love Dairy Queen’s honey mustard, therefore I love DQ’s chicken strip box. I was really into this my senior year of high school. The guy I was dating at the time was a smoker, so we would sit outside the DQ and he would smoke and I would eat chicken strips. (I always made sure to be in my catholic school uniform, just in case my religion teacher were to drive by, just to see if I could get in trouble for sitting next to a smoker in uniform.) Now, I always knew the thing where smokers like to have a cigarette after eating, so I decided I was going to take a drag off his cigarette when I was done eating. I finished chewing my last bite and was like “ok, give me a drag.” I took it and inhaled a little too deeply. I started hacking and coughing and nearly puked. Good times. More recently, I snuck an entire chicken box combo into a movie theater under my jacket.

(Best BBQ Sauce ever, my gallon jug of it.)

Another way that I use chicken nuggets, is as a vehicle for Melvin’s BBQ, which is my favorite BBQ sauce in the entire world. This is not a subjective thing; it is a fact. This BBQ sauce is the best. This is one of those “my opinion is actually a true fact, and I will engage in bare knuckle fighting if you challenge me on this” situations.

(My Backup Gallon.)

Another fun thing to do is put chicken strips on top of a salad, in order to fully defeat the purpose of eating a salad. I’ve been known to eat the “Plantation Salad” from a place. I’m forgetting the name. But this salad has not only fried chicken, but also: cheese, boiled eggs and avocado, just to name a few ingredients. I also drown the entire thing in honey mustard. This is, the best salad ever, but it is only a salad in title, not in health spectrum.


If you made it this far, it means that you just read an entire blog entry about chicken nuggets. Congratulations.